out of the starting gate..........fibromom's blurred visions.......................

so tired that i can barely distinguish the words on this page, nevermind those reckless thoughts skipping about the recesses of my mind, i type here.  exhaustion truly takes the bite out of caution and common sensibility............all i want to say for now is this:  my streams of consciousness cannot continue to be confined to such a small cage...........i am a restless tigress, pacing in her cage, watching and protecting her young (all of whom are now bigger and stronger, though not necessarily faster or wiser)...watching the world thru the eyes of her pain and connections, drawing deeply from friends who have become sisters, those alive and those passed on.  states of mind and the impact of music and movies on thoughts....influenced by so much beauty and pain in the world......by mankind's
propensities to create good and evil,only to blur the lines so no one will know which is which...

i am a mom first (even though my young are all bigger.........i have four total, though only three living home............our hungry tiger cubs eat like you wouldn't believe...............money, time, praise and accolades area all set aside to simply acheive the bare necesaties.............rushing thru life to coordinate the family meal..........to make fried chidken for the two that won't eat the other............brown rice for myself and my wrestler.............not too brown, now........or the big guy won't eat it...........it's all tiring.  yet i LOVE to hear our chatter, our encouragement laced with sarcasm, the way the cubs fall all over each other (especially when it is their turn to clean up the kitchen)!  you'd be surprised how much time may be enjoyed here by simple stalling techniques..........or by my third guy sneaking up to "take a poo," which just happens to coincide with the dishwasher being ready to empty..........the back and forth chatter, the glue that binds us............the traits already sliding down into their new vessels, traits that have been passed on thruout the generations.....the corny comments in case anyone is still listening here ("but don't make a case about it")......but more on this when i am awake enough to see straight............i dare this to make sense (mom would say, "no dollars, but sense."). ok now,  time to click this off into its cyberspace receptacle.............godspeed............hope to be reunited soon (i have no idea what i am doing!).  my hands, shoulders and brain hurt............what have i done???  this is either a reasonable start or a meaningless rant...........may my babble amuse, challenge and entertain others, bearing with their souls in uncanny ways.........enjoy me, loathe me, sense me.........just don't forget me.  don't say kaddish just yet.........